Regretting Genius
by PaleoM
Summary: SLASH.  The stuff dreams are made of.  Rodney McKay dreams of how his life could have been different, how he could have had a life that made loving Cam a possibility.


_**This was written for a friend, (CodeMonkey from Wraithbait), as a birthday present. She has been overdosing on McShep lately, and so requested Rodney with a different paring and so please find a fic of Rodney/Cam, in the sweetest way possible...**_

**REGRETTING GENIUS:**

Rodney sat in his office, which he'd only found out about by accident a couple of months ago when Harriman told him he'd left some papers for him to sign on his office desk. He didn't normally use it, but Cam had been in and out of his lab all day and he just couldn't take it anymore. So, here he was in his office, the ogre of two galaxies, hiding from his secret crush. He was disgusted with himself. He gave a sigh that came from the bottom of his toes and pushed the laptop away, giving up all pretence of work. Leaning back in his chair, he let his mind wander, _What if..._

What if he wasn't a genius, what if he'd been a normal boy, with normal social graces? What if he was nice like Cam, and while he was imagining, what if Cam was gay.

They could have met years ago when he was slimmer than he was now, maybe in a cafe. Over time, as mutual regulars, they'd gravitate towards each other. After a couple of weeks of getting to know one another, he could tell Cam about a party, or a group playing locally and when he shows enthusiasm he could say casually, "You can come too if you like."

And Cam would look at him with that mischievous twinkle in his eye before he nodded and said, "Okay," and that would be their first 'not date' as they would come to call it in years to come. Rodney would give him his address and then he'd go home and blitz the place, put clean sheets on the bed, remove that strange food from the back of the fridge and finally throw it out, even pull the pizza box from under the sofa.

He would answer the door with a towel around him and an open dressing gown as a faked attempt at modesty. He would languidly pull it closed and tie the belt as he apologised for running late, telling Cam he'd only be five minutes and all the while he would note how Cam's eyes trailed over his chest, how his eyes kept flicking to the open neck of the dressing gown to glimpse at the small piece of flesh that was still visible and hope he wasn't reading more than there was in those stolen glances.

He'd lead Cam through to the living room, telling him he'd be back in five. He'd run up the hallway to his bedroom, pull on the tight blue denim jeans with the soft blue cotton shirt that brought out the vivid blue of his eyes and felt sinfully delicate against skin.

He'd pull his keys from the side board, along with his wallet, stuffing them into his pockets as he scooped up his socks. With his hair already done, he'd rush into the living room barefoot. He'd sit down in the chair and pull on his socks, "Ready?" He'd ask and Cam would just nod, smiling that smile that made Rodney's stomach flip.

"Don't you need shoes where we're going?" Cam would ask in that jovial voice steeped in velvet.

"My trainers are in the hallway," he'd reply over his shoulder as he moved over to get them, knowing full well how good his rear looked wrapped in tight denim, he'd bend down to scoop up a trainer and lean against the wall to force it on to his foot, and then bend over again to scoop up the other, forcing that on the other foot.

"See, five minutes," he'd say with an easy grin because he was nice and didn't think of it as a sign of weakness anymore. Wasn't afraid that he'd have the grin wiped of his face with laughter he could hear even now. Cam wouldn't tell him he was a fool for thinking he was actually wanted. Cam would smile back and say, "Actually I think it was six and a half minutes but I think I can forgive you."

And Rodney would laugh, easy and carefree, just like he used to hear Jeannie do with her friends. He'd offer to buy the first round to make up for it as he opened the door and motioned for Cam to exit the apartment first.

He'd offer to drive and Cam would let him, they'd arrive at the venue and they'd stop and talk to people along the way, because Rodney had friends. People who were pleased to see him, people he hadn't pushed away through mistrust. Finally, they'd reach the bar and he'd buy the first drinks as he promised. Beers, in a bottle. They'd find a good place, near the stage but to the side so they had a little room.

They'd be stood talking when one of his ex's would materialise out of the crowd, and hug him and kiss him on the cheek for old times' sake because he'd still get on with him. They hadn't broken up due to something he said, or because he was too long at the lab, because he couldn't tell them the truth, that he was late to dinner because he was saving the planet... they didn't break up because he was him.

He would see Cam's eyes go wide, but he wouldn't say anything yet. He'd meet his ex's new boyfriend and make small talk until his ex got the message and left. Then he'd turn to Cam, slightly awkward. In trepidation he'd approach Cam, "I just realised this never came up before. I'm homosexual, is that a problem for you?" and he'd watch with big wide blue eyes.

They'd be a smile playing at Cam's lips and it would bloom just before he answered, "No, no problem. Just a shock is all. My gaydar rarely misses, you just caught me by surprise."

He'd nod and smile, "So, you're...?"

And Cam would smirk and nod.

And he'd laugh, "Well what are the chances of that." And then he'd take a swig of his beer and realise he was out. "Another drink?" he'd ask and Cam would nod, with a grin. They'd make their way to the bar and Cam would suggest shots instead of beer. He'd notice a change in the atmosphere between them, a change that sent fissions of tingles all over his body. "Yeah, what the hell, we can get a cab back."

And Cam would slide closer and sling an arm across his shoulders, "You're a genius," he'd say, eyes intense and sparkling and it wouldn't make him feel different, it would make him smile. They'd get drunk together, watching the band play.

Later they'd stagger out into the night and the coolness of the air would be so welcoming after the heat of the bar. They'd stagger to the cab waiting by the curb. He'd feel Cam's hands on his waist, sliding down to the sides of his thighs as Cam guided him into the cab. He'd move over as Cam tumbled in after him, falling against him.

Cam's head would land on his shoulder, cheek against the soft blue material, "Gotta say, I LOVE this shirt."

And he'd laugh before telling the cab driver where to go. Looking out of the window but not looking, all senses focused on the weight at his side, the head on his shoulder, the smile he couldn't stop if he wanted too.

They'd pull up at his apartment and he'd ask Cam for his address to tell the cab driver and Cam would answer in a drunken slur, "Shan't tell, Can't make me," and he'd smirk as he turned sparkling eyes onto Rodney who'd smile in return.

"Well, then I guess there's nothing else for it. You'll have to stay the night."

They'd pile into his apartment and as the door shut Cam would crowd him into the wall, "Tell me I can kiss you," Cam would say. Voice low with lust.

"Yes," he'd whisper back.

Cam's hands would clasp his waist as Cam leant into kiss him. Their lips meeting, a kiss more passionate than any he had known previously.

"Rodney?"

And he wondered how Cam could say his name while kissing him so damn thoroughly at the same time.

"Rodney!" he repeated, slightly louder. And Rodney suddenly realised the voice was not in his head but not before one word escaped his lips, drenched in sex, low and primal.

"Cam."

He flicked his eyes open, and yes there he was. Cam standing in his office with a high flush on his cheeks. Maybe he could fake it as just acknowledging his presence. "How, can I help you?" he said, pretending to rub the sleep from his eyes, while he was actually dying a mortifying death behind his hands. The silence piqued his curiosity and he dropped his hands, sitting forward in his chair.

Cam was watching him looking uncomfortable. He didn't like the way it was going but then Cam cleared his throat.

"Ahem... Look... it's... er... it's come to my attention that you're hiding in here because of me."

_Oh God, he knows. Oh, god. Oh, God. Oh, God, no please no. _Rodney swallowed hard, panicked blue eyes flicked to Cam's face as he continued.

"... and it may have been pointed out to me that just because I found out that you're gay, I should have waited to see if I was your type before getting carried away, like an over excited puppy apparently, about the concept that you were available."

Now, Rodney had been forced to apologies in the past as well and if he didn't recognise Radek's hands all over this, he'd eat tofu. "Radek."

Cam blushed, "He says, can you pop by the lab when we're done. He wants you to look at something." Cam was looking anywhere but at him, "So, anyway, I just came by to say that, well... I won't be coming by quite so much anymore." He gave an embarrassed, boyish grin that made Rodney's stomach flip out again.

But now the panic had subsided, the words were soaking in, "Wait! You've been in the labs so much because... you've been _flirting_ with me?" If Cam wasn't there, he'd pinch himself to make sure he was awake.

"Yeah, but you know tha..." there was a deathly pause. Rodney hated deathly pauses, or rather he hated what always came after. Generally to his utter embarrassment and yep, sure enough, Cam continued, "...If you didn't know I was flirting with you then why are you hiding in your office?"

"No reason," Rodney snapped back quickly and saw his mistake in Cam's sudden grin. _Too fast, too damn fast. He always panicked, why did he do that? _And sure enough, Cam was bouncing on his heels now.

"So," Cam said, abnormally bright and cheerful, "I hear they're serving Salisbury steak in the mess."

"Really?" Rodney asked, sitting straighter, like a pointer hunting dog.

Cam chuckles and then said so very casually, "You can come too if you like."

Rodney looked at him. At this gorgeous man who'd been flirting with him for days. At the man who made him feel alive just by being in the same room, "Okay," he said with a smile.

He rose out of his seat, but just as he was leading Cam out of his office, Cam leaned in and breathed in his ear, "...and one day real soon, you've got to tell me what I gotta do to make you say my name like that."

Rodney stumbled and felt Cam's hands on his waist and Rodney's heart beat deeply as he took a chance and answered in a voice full of sex, passion and the possibility of so much more, "Just catch me when I fall... Cam."

Cam gave a small moan. "I can do that," Cam said and he would because he was nice like that.

And they made their way to the mess, on what they would call their first 'not date' in the years to come.

THE END.


End file.
